Dealing with the loss of a loved one

Kaitlyn Kellers grandma, Carole Barnes

Losing a loved one is never easy, and usually overwhelming especially if you’re young. Even if you’re not close with them, it could still hurt to know that they are gone. Recently, I had just lost my grandma. She went to the hospital about two weeks ago, and she was fighting ever since then. She put up a big fight, but on Wednesday, Jan. 16 she put down her fight and she passed. I would love to explain how to get over it, but there’s just no such thing as fully getting over a loss of a loved one. But, there are ways to cope with it.

The best advice would be to not think about the times you didn’t get to see them, as well as the times you upset them or bad parts from when they were still here. Think about all of the good times with them, think about the laughs and the love.

Always remember that grief is normal, it’s okay to be sad and depressed. So don’t hold in your emotions, find somebody to talk to and explain your feelings because it will most likely help. By grief, it will usually come at you in all sorts of ways and different emotions. For example, you could feel depressed, angry, confused, maybe empty, and all of the memories you had with said person will overwhelm your brain.

The first stage of grief is denial. During denial, make sure to stay aware of yourself, because you will tell yourself “I can’t handle this” and “I’m not strong enough”, but that’s just something you tell yourself to protect yourself.

Another thing to help you cope with the loss is to accept you’ll be scared of them dying, and it’s okay to be scared and sad. Focus on the person and realize that they won’t be suffering anymore and they’ll get to see all of the people that they have lost again and do the things they couldn’t anymore. Also, remember that crying is always okay, never feel ashamed to cry. Crying doesn’t automatically make you weak but instead, it makes you stronger because it releases all of those emotions you are building up and helps you to be more mentally stable.

Depending on how close you were to the person, it could affect you differently. Personally with my grandma, it was like a whole part of my life was getting ripped from me that I wouldn’t be able to get back. But what I did was I realized she wasn’t suffering anymore. She spent 9 years suffering and it was hard for her to do the simplest of things and now, she can do everything she never used to be able to. She’s in a better place and she’s happy again and her happiness is what keeps me going strong.

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